// somebody told me that there's two sides to this life //
It hurt, to be looked at like that. Cold, like she had been cut off from the steady calm and tolerance she had come to expect from Asta. Maea supposed that's what happened when you called someone a monster. Even if it was true... She stopped herself before spinning further down that line of thinking. It wasn't helpful, and it wouldn't get her anywhere. Nodding quietly when he accepted her apology, she looked down at her feet for a moment, shifting her weight from heel to toe, back and forth.
"I'll be honest, this is... extremely difficult for me. Everything I have been taught and raised to think of as right and good is telling me to pack up and leave. I talked to Danta... and for now I won't. But... I really don't know how to live with what I know about you. Or the others. I like you. I want to be your friend. But... I also want to be able to live with myself. Right now, those things don't line up."
Looking up again, traces of the strain she had been under over the past season were etched in her features. She had lost weight, and dark circles beneath her eyes whispered of sleepless nights spent tossing and turning, waking from bad dreams of spindly creatures stalking the shadows. Sometimes they were hunting her. Sometimes she was the creature. It never ended well, and it was growing harder to even close her eyes.
"I know you're unhappy with me. I guess I deserve that. But I am unhappy with you, too - and the only thing I can think of is to talk this through, to... I don't know how to phrase this... to see if there can be any kind of compromise?" She shrugged. "And before you say I should just learn to accept - that really wouldn't help. If it was that easy, we wouldn't be here now. Do you agree?"
"I'll be honest, this is... extremely difficult for me. Everything I have been taught and raised to think of as right and good is telling me to pack up and leave. I talked to Danta... and for now I won't. But... I really don't know how to live with what I know about you. Or the others. I like you. I want to be your friend. But... I also want to be able to live with myself. Right now, those things don't line up."
Looking up again, traces of the strain she had been under over the past season were etched in her features. She had lost weight, and dark circles beneath her eyes whispered of sleepless nights spent tossing and turning, waking from bad dreams of spindly creatures stalking the shadows. Sometimes they were hunting her. Sometimes she was the creature. It never ended well, and it was growing harder to even close her eyes.
"I know you're unhappy with me. I guess I deserve that. But I am unhappy with you, too - and the only thing I can think of is to talk this through, to... I don't know how to phrase this... to see if there can be any kind of compromise?" She shrugged. "And before you say I should just learn to accept - that really wouldn't help. If it was that easy, we wouldn't be here now. Do you agree?"
Maea
// I think I might've chosen darkness over light //
