// somebody told me that there's two sides to this life //
Horror mounted higher in her the more he revealed. It didn't matter that there were details missing, the gist was graphic enough and his hunched figure more than proof if she ever needed any of how it had impacted him. Perhaps some other person might revel in the knowledge that the other part was as miserable as her, but that wasn't her; compassion was a painful, tangible essence of her being and it bled for his plight, his memory, the cruelty he had been subjected to.
"Asta, I am so sorry. Please, I had no idea - " Causing suffering was the last thing she wanted. It had seemed to her that it was something he needed in order to properly punish wrongdoers - why else defend how he had treated that man, and others in the past, and more to come? - but if what he said was true... Maea realized he really did believe that what he did was a mercy.
Something crumbled within her. A resignation, perhaps, to the fact that there might not be a middle ground to be found here. It had seemed like the perfect compromise; exile into a stern place, punishing enough to deter from breaking the rules while still offering a chance for redemption, to change - that's what Dygra was about too, right? - and they would live happily ever after, equally disgruntled in their sacrifices. But now... she wasn't sure. Had no other ideas. And if Asta thought his torment beyond imagining was something she was ready to inflict upon someone? Anyone? Then she had to wonder if they truly knew each other at all.
"Please. Won't you look at me?" Rubbing a spot over her chest, she felt the pounding pulse like a drum. Too fast, too hard. "I would never wish that on anyone. Can you believe that?"
"Asta, I am so sorry. Please, I had no idea - " Causing suffering was the last thing she wanted. It had seemed to her that it was something he needed in order to properly punish wrongdoers - why else defend how he had treated that man, and others in the past, and more to come? - but if what he said was true... Maea realized he really did believe that what he did was a mercy.
Something crumbled within her. A resignation, perhaps, to the fact that there might not be a middle ground to be found here. It had seemed like the perfect compromise; exile into a stern place, punishing enough to deter from breaking the rules while still offering a chance for redemption, to change - that's what Dygra was about too, right? - and they would live happily ever after, equally disgruntled in their sacrifices. But now... she wasn't sure. Had no other ideas. And if Asta thought his torment beyond imagining was something she was ready to inflict upon someone? Anyone? Then she had to wonder if they truly knew each other at all.
"Please. Won't you look at me?" Rubbing a spot over her chest, she felt the pounding pulse like a drum. Too fast, too hard. "I would never wish that on anyone. Can you believe that?"
Maea
// I think I might've chosen darkness over light //
