JUDE
the light of dawn is coming
Jude gave up on promises years ago. A light in him dimmed and went out on a night so nondescript he couldn't put a finger on it if he tried. People lie, deceive, and swear with their hands on their hearts that they're telling the truth before breaking every vow they ever made and disappearing out of your life. Jude doesn't believe in promises anymore. He doesn't trust. But it's not trust if he's just taking comfort in the empty words, right?
He cries for what must be close to an hour, or at least it feels that way. Enough that his throat is raspy and his eyes ache, so sensitive he has to hide in Koa's shadow just to look up at him - embarrassed and ashamed - when he finally emerges. Cheeks ruddy, Jude worsens the rouge there with another rough swipe of his hand, jaw clenching briefly like poisonous words might strike a second time - only to deflate and crumple, forehead thunking heavily onto Koa's shoulder so he can stare balefully at his own stand still gripping the Dragoon's shirt. It hadn't wavered even once while Jude had considered cursing the soldier out a second time. Pathetic. "They're all gone. There's nothing - what did you do?" Jude can't bear to meet his eyes, so he just continues staring unblinking at the too-bright highlights on Koa's clothes, retinas stinging from the abuse of his own tears. "Why didn't you just...walk off the edge of Stormbreak?" And maybe that's a glimpse into the heart of Jude's agony that he shouldn't have allowed, but Jude can't conceive of finding a way forward when Koa is so painfully wrong about the amount of people in Jude's life. Those he should have counted on to catch him had never proven themselves constant enough in the first place, and so Jude had never learned to fall in their direction anyway. Their absence changes little about that.
He cries for what must be close to an hour, or at least it feels that way. Enough that his throat is raspy and his eyes ache, so sensitive he has to hide in Koa's shadow just to look up at him - embarrassed and ashamed - when he finally emerges. Cheeks ruddy, Jude worsens the rouge there with another rough swipe of his hand, jaw clenching briefly like poisonous words might strike a second time - only to deflate and crumple, forehead thunking heavily onto Koa's shoulder so he can stare balefully at his own stand still gripping the Dragoon's shirt. It hadn't wavered even once while Jude had considered cursing the soldier out a second time. Pathetic. "They're all gone. There's nothing - what did you do?" Jude can't bear to meet his eyes, so he just continues staring unblinking at the too-bright highlights on Koa's clothes, retinas stinging from the abuse of his own tears. "Why didn't you just...walk off the edge of Stormbreak?" And maybe that's a glimpse into the heart of Jude's agony that he shouldn't have allowed, but Jude can't conceive of finding a way forward when Koa is so painfully wrong about the amount of people in Jude's life. Those he should have counted on to catch him had never proven themselves constant enough in the first place, and so Jude had never learned to fall in their direction anyway. Their absence changes little about that.
ready to return everything the darkness stole
