KAISEL
So, you wanna start a war?
Bang, shots fired
Bang, shots fired
There it is. The thing Kaisel has been trying to avoid—Koa's trigger pull. Maybe it could have been dodged if Kaisel had just swallowed his anger again, but you can only hold something back for so long the more it grows.
It stings, to be thought so little of by someone he admires. Not that he doubts Koa loves him, that's never been the issue. He doesn't want Koa's affection, he wants his respect. Kaisel's been working hard, so he thought, but it always feels a bit too little too late. Koa just continues to climb, and his efforts are paltry in comparison. He's trying to be the obedient Dragoon and come up the same way Koa had. He wants to honor his family with the work they all take such pride in, but it always feels like one of them is telling him to hang back and stay safe.
Safety just feels like a pretty name for being limited.
Even so, he knows—knows that Koa doesn't mean it, not in that way. So he just wants to get the fuck out, put some distance between them, give that ugly anger some breath so it can dive back under the surface a while longer. Something stronger than air strikes the feeling though. Guilt. It cuts across him like a frigid wind, rendering him stationary. Fuck.
Everything that felt tight now sags, the weight of the ire tugging on it all as it sinks back into his gut. "Koa..." he starts to say, but his words falter the way Koa's did, fingers curling and uncurling at his side as he searches for something solid among the tide of regret. He would be dead without Koa. He owes him more than some slack, definitely owes him more than a pouting outburst.
Kaisel sighs, an unnatural frown finding him as he looks at his worry worn cousin. "Sorry. I just..." Just didn't think, again? Just have to prove everyone right by continuing to fuck up? Just have to admit he's as weak as they all know, and that's why they cradle him in safety?
Kaisel laughs faintly in return to Koa's apology, falling into the squishy hug with a thin exhale, full of too many things so they just come out like a coca-cola laugh, one that's been shaken before being opened. "At that point someone will have to change your diapers too." He can't fault Koa, not really. All the blame is squarely on him, whether he wants to fully recognize that or not yet.
"I think I've overstayed my welcome at Torchline," he admits with a grimace as he pulls back from the hug, hands braced on Koa's shoulder's holding him with slackened tension. "I clearly need to get back to focusing on training, especially if I need to learn how to wield walkers now. I'm just...well I'm sorry, that I fucked it up and caused problems now."
It stings, to be thought so little of by someone he admires. Not that he doubts Koa loves him, that's never been the issue. He doesn't want Koa's affection, he wants his respect. Kaisel's been working hard, so he thought, but it always feels a bit too little too late. Koa just continues to climb, and his efforts are paltry in comparison. He's trying to be the obedient Dragoon and come up the same way Koa had. He wants to honor his family with the work they all take such pride in, but it always feels like one of them is telling him to hang back and stay safe.
Safety just feels like a pretty name for being limited.
Even so, he knows—knows that Koa doesn't mean it, not in that way. So he just wants to get the fuck out, put some distance between them, give that ugly anger some breath so it can dive back under the surface a while longer. Something stronger than air strikes the feeling though. Guilt. It cuts across him like a frigid wind, rendering him stationary. Fuck.
Everything that felt tight now sags, the weight of the ire tugging on it all as it sinks back into his gut. "Koa..." he starts to say, but his words falter the way Koa's did, fingers curling and uncurling at his side as he searches for something solid among the tide of regret. He would be dead without Koa. He owes him more than some slack, definitely owes him more than a pouting outburst.
Kaisel sighs, an unnatural frown finding him as he looks at his worry worn cousin. "Sorry. I just..." Just didn't think, again? Just have to prove everyone right by continuing to fuck up? Just have to admit he's as weak as they all know, and that's why they cradle him in safety?
Kaisel laughs faintly in return to Koa's apology, falling into the squishy hug with a thin exhale, full of too many things so they just come out like a coca-cola laugh, one that's been shaken before being opened. "At that point someone will have to change your diapers too." He can't fault Koa, not really. All the blame is squarely on him, whether he wants to fully recognize that or not yet.
"I think I've overstayed my welcome at Torchline," he admits with a grimace as he pulls back from the hug, hands braced on Koa's shoulder's holding him with slackened tension. "I clearly need to get back to focusing on training, especially if I need to learn how to wield walkers now. I'm just...well I'm sorry, that I fucked it up and caused problems now."
Pain is what you desire
So, you wanna be immortal?
So, you wanna be immortal?
Wearing a watery blue, faded and stretched-out sparkling hair tie on his left wrist
