Hotaru
we're not lovers, we're just strangers
with the same damn hunger
with the same damn hunger
She has ever admired - and envied - his stalwart nature. Her own is volatile, fickle, meteor showers and lightning strikes. Fierce but transient. Her only roots, her only persistent loyalties, have always lied in her heart. No matter how far she may roam, how long she might chase an errant glimmer that catches her eye, she always returns to the few people who matter. Following the heartstring she'd tied around their finger like a breadcrumb trail back to their side. At least until the wind carries her away again.
Hak Etme may be that new destination. Truly, Ru isn't sure. Flora and Enzo are a safe shelter to cower beneath, a faultless cover for the truth of her wounded aimlessness. Is she strong enough to pursue such a major change so soon after the dissolution of the life she'd known? Will it fulfill her, or leave her even more hollow? Do those questions even matter if the alternative is staying where she is, adrift without purpose or distraction?
Deimos' attempt at levity inspires a quirk of her lips that doesn't travel past her cupid's bow. "I've never played advisor before, even unofficially; it will be strange, if she takes me with her in any capacity." The Valkyrie has no notions of being chosen for cabinet or council given her mental state (and her predisposition for pursuing the throne itself if the one upon it irks her one too many times). Still, it may grant her some level of pride and surety to share her experience and have it be valued sincerely.
Biting her lip dispels the tentative smile. "No. We briefly met to make a truce of sorts, but I tried not to talk too much." There had been intent, yes, but part of her reticence had been inherent to her wounded nature. Hiding away like an animal close to death, cornered in its den. No fight left, just the instinct for self-preservation. "I intend to ask Frey if I can - if I should - instead of requesting outright. I...I don't trust myself to make that sort of decision." Her eyes drop to her feet, shoulders inching toward her ears as shame roils thick in her stomach. "I don't exactly have any historical good choices to use as encouragement." Helovia had been a mixed bag, partially due to her youth, but has she made a single right choice since The Voice brought her here? The sickness in her stomach leaks into the Attuned bond, hovering around her like miasma - no direction or intent that might direct it his way, but clouding around her all the same as her walls fail to keep it contained. "It will be easier to have them guide me, if they deign to. Safer than making my own decisions," she laughs, though it comes out a touch too bitter to actually lift the mood.
Clearing her throat, her eyes flick to Deimos', and she shrugs slightly in a fashion that would normally be too inelegant for her to enact. "Aside from Hak Etme, of course. I'm sure a 'finding yourself retreat' is a safe enough course of action, right? As boring as any midlife crisis, and just as unlikely to involve other people." Andraste is a lost cause, she's along for the ride now - and really it's her own fault.
Hak Etme may be that new destination. Truly, Ru isn't sure. Flora and Enzo are a safe shelter to cower beneath, a faultless cover for the truth of her wounded aimlessness. Is she strong enough to pursue such a major change so soon after the dissolution of the life she'd known? Will it fulfill her, or leave her even more hollow? Do those questions even matter if the alternative is staying where she is, adrift without purpose or distraction?
Deimos' attempt at levity inspires a quirk of her lips that doesn't travel past her cupid's bow. "I've never played advisor before, even unofficially; it will be strange, if she takes me with her in any capacity." The Valkyrie has no notions of being chosen for cabinet or council given her mental state (and her predisposition for pursuing the throne itself if the one upon it irks her one too many times). Still, it may grant her some level of pride and surety to share her experience and have it be valued sincerely.
Biting her lip dispels the tentative smile. "No. We briefly met to make a truce of sorts, but I tried not to talk too much." There had been intent, yes, but part of her reticence had been inherent to her wounded nature. Hiding away like an animal close to death, cornered in its den. No fight left, just the instinct for self-preservation. "I intend to ask Frey if I can - if I should - instead of requesting outright. I...I don't trust myself to make that sort of decision." Her eyes drop to her feet, shoulders inching toward her ears as shame roils thick in her stomach. "I don't exactly have any historical good choices to use as encouragement." Helovia had been a mixed bag, partially due to her youth, but has she made a single right choice since The Voice brought her here? The sickness in her stomach leaks into the Attuned bond, hovering around her like miasma - no direction or intent that might direct it his way, but clouding around her all the same as her walls fail to keep it contained. "It will be easier to have them guide me, if they deign to. Safer than making my own decisions," she laughs, though it comes out a touch too bitter to actually lift the mood.
Clearing her throat, her eyes flick to Deimos', and she shrugs slightly in a fashion that would normally be too inelegant for her to enact. "Aside from Hak Etme, of course. I'm sure a 'finding yourself retreat' is a safe enough course of action, right? As boring as any midlife crisis, and just as unlikely to involve other people." Andraste is a lost cause, she's along for the ride now - and really it's her own fault.
to be touched, to be loved
to feel anything at all
to feel anything at all
