It was becoming a song and dance Alistair had memorized the steps to. He was a fool to believe revenge and a new world would bring anything different than the pattern she displayed in Northhaven. Marriage, and death of her master
..He assumed it to be enough to at least temptAshetta to pursue of a life where she could be happy...the closer he felt she would be to such a life, the further she seemed to bring herself from it.
He was a man of what appeared to be endless patience, but what most and possibly Ashetta seemed to forget was...He was a man. Human, with limits that appeared to be purposely tested without provocation.
She seemed to go out of her way to be away with him and for what reason he didn't know. Jasper was easy to decipher...from what he gathered it was more obligation than love that bound her to him, and held little else. He hoped things would be different for someone she genuinely loved...or so he hoped she did...and one who loved her in return.
Yet, nothing changed. His days were spent attempting to establish a forge, to establish a smithing area to build armaments...his nights he spent waking alone. In her absence he sensed the presence and apprehension of a other. Ashetta had a pentiant to think every interaction needed to be a war of attrition, and already she seemed to have pursue a figure with ferocity as any other interaction she felt a need to be the best at.
She seemed content placing her time pursuing others instead of taking in the one who stood by her through her best and worst moments.
So to say Alistair was in no mood to converse about theology was an understatement. He did not appear to discuss religion...that was the least of his concerns. "I believe in choices and the path we shape with those choices throughout our life. I do not place my worth or existence in the hands of entities I have never seen. It's an excuse some would use for the decisions they make, or an easy out for the guilt they feel...humanity and the life they live is through the choices they make."
Alistair too, kept his eyes forward, observing the temple. "I made my choices in life, some good. Some bad...choosing to marry you I felt was the best decision of my life. Choosing to love you, the easiest decision I ever made. I was born into filth and nothing. Not a name nor a memory to who I belonged to...but life presented me with a choice to remain as I was...worthless, nothing...or to become something more. Become a son to one who had none, a friend to one who needed it, and a husband to one who never felt love without cost or motive, without pain...accepting those choices I'd like to think, shaped the man I am.
I'm a good man Ashetta. I'm loyal, sincere...I would never lie or betray your trust...I'm a good man...patient...but you should not mistake patience for ignorance, and should not assume it is infinite. You have shed the skin of your master, literally consuming your fear...he's dead and buried...and you can't seem to accept peace as a choice. Instead you draw yourself away, with an insatiable desire to prove yourself superior...to what? To who? And at what price? The master is dead. You conquered the symbol of pain and fear that haunted you...yet you refuse to allow yourself to accept that.
You avoid peace, and by association, me...like a plague as if your new fear is to be happy." Alistair paused and shook his head. "I love you, that will never be in question...Instead perhaps you should ask yourself if that is what you want. Do you want to be loved? Or am I wasting both our times by foolishly pursuing what does not want to be caught. Explain to me where you go, and why you leave and I wake the fool every fucking time...because as much as I attempt to guess why would you draw yourself away, I can think of nothing."
..He assumed it to be enough to at least tempt
He was a man of what appeared to be endless patience, but what most and possibly Ashetta seemed to forget was...He was a man. Human, with limits that appeared to be purposely tested without provocation.
She seemed to go out of her way to be away with him and for what reason he didn't know. Jasper was easy to decipher...from what he gathered it was more obligation than love that bound her to him, and held little else. He hoped things would be different for someone she genuinely loved...or so he hoped she did...and one who loved her in return.
Yet, nothing changed. His days were spent attempting to establish a forge, to establish a smithing area to build armaments...his nights he spent waking alone. In her absence he sensed the presence and apprehension of a other. Ashetta had a pentiant to think every interaction needed to be a war of attrition, and already she seemed to have pursue a figure with ferocity as any other interaction she felt a need to be the best at.
She seemed content placing her time pursuing others instead of taking in the one who stood by her through her best and worst moments.
So to say Alistair was in no mood to converse about theology was an understatement. He did not appear to discuss religion...that was the least of his concerns. "I believe in choices and the path we shape with those choices throughout our life. I do not place my worth or existence in the hands of entities I have never seen. It's an excuse some would use for the decisions they make, or an easy out for the guilt they feel...humanity and the life they live is through the choices they make."
Alistair too, kept his eyes forward, observing the temple. "I made my choices in life, some good. Some bad...choosing to marry you I felt was the best decision of my life. Choosing to love you, the easiest decision I ever made. I was born into filth and nothing. Not a name nor a memory to who I belonged to...but life presented me with a choice to remain as I was...worthless, nothing...or to become something more. Become a son to one who had none, a friend to one who needed it, and a husband to one who never felt love without cost or motive, without pain...accepting those choices I'd like to think, shaped the man I am.
I'm a good man Ashetta. I'm loyal, sincere...I would never lie or betray your trust...I'm a good man...patient...but you should not mistake patience for ignorance, and should not assume it is infinite. You have shed the skin of your master, literally consuming your fear...he's dead and buried...and you can't seem to accept peace as a choice. Instead you draw yourself away, with an insatiable desire to prove yourself superior...to what? To who? And at what price? The master is dead. You conquered the symbol of pain and fear that haunted you...yet you refuse to allow yourself to accept that.
You avoid peace, and by association, me...like a plague as if your new fear is to be happy." Alistair paused and shook his head. "I love you, that will never be in question...Instead perhaps you should ask yourself if that is what you want. Do you want to be loved? Or am I wasting both our times by foolishly pursuing what does not want to be caught. Explain to me where you go, and why you leave and I wake the fool every fucking time...because as much as I attempt to guess why would you draw yourself away, I can think of nothing."
