never grow up

Sohalia

Your little hand's wrapped around my finger And it's so quiet in the world tonight

False contractions were, the way Soh understood it, to be expected during pregnancy. But if they were so common, then how was one to know when they became real?

When she first noticed the contractions on one chilly evening a few weeks after LongNight ended, she at first deigned to ignore them. After all, they probably weren’t real. She went to bed as usual, but she slept poorly, waking often as yet another contraction interrupted her attempts at slumber. She rolled from one side to another, avoiding laying on her back for fear it could compromise blood flow and unable to lay on her stomach for obvious reasons. But neither side made her more comfortable, and eventually, she realized that the contractions seemed to be strengthening and growing closer together. 

”Zav?” she murmured into the dark, reaching to brush a hand along her boyfriend’s shoulder. A new contraction hit, and she winced, heart rate spiking, but there was no fear to it. Only a sort of excited resignation.

It was time. 

”Are you awake?” she asked, trying to stay calm despite the fluttering in her chest. Their daughter seemed to shift and turn, and Soh smoothed a soothing hand over her stomach to quiet the as-yet-unborn child. Fortunately, they’d been prepared for just this eventuality. Bags had been packed; they were ready to make their way to the hospital. Or they would be, if Reva gave them the opportunity. Already, by Soh’s calculation, she’d been in early labor for several hours. What would they do if they didn’t make it to the hospital?

Soh felt doubt and trepidation begin to creep in just as another contraction hit, this one strong enough to have her teeth clenching in pain. What if she went into active labor in the street? Maybe they should send a companion to fetch a doctor and just stay here. Riding out the contraction, Soh tried to remind herself to breath and failed. Instead, in the brief moment between her question and Zavien’s attention, he would find her almost hyperventilating.

Your little eyelids flutter 'cause you're dreamin' So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light

Your soul
is the light that sees my dark,
and loves me all the same.

Exhausted from his recent trip to the Grounds, Zavien slept through most of the rocking and rolling of his girlfriend. He'd occasionally reach out a reassuring hand in his sleep or mumble a question after her comfort, but he'd recently discovered that there wasn't much he could do to help a pregnant woman's sleep beyond the massages and extra pillows, and his own sleep had been so sporadic during LongNight that his sleep was heavier than usual. However, the man was acutely aware of how close they were to the birth of their child, and his soldierly instincts kept him somewhat alert to her needs despite the rumbling snores. 

When she rested a gentle hand against his shoulder, his snoring cut off in a brutal roar of breath, his eyes fluttering behind his eyelids as he turned over in a drowsy flop. "Hm?" The question seemed redundant as he slowly blinked his eyes open to see what she needed. Licking his lips and squinting his eyes, he took in the sight of her pinched expression, breaths coming much too fast for his liking. 

All remnants of sleep were thrown from his mind like cobwebs from a window. He jolted up, his hand reaching out to brace her head, scanning her body as the world suddenly came into crisp focus. "Soh? Are you okay?" He could tell she very much wasn't okay, but he also couldn't tell if it was the normal kind of pain or if something was terribly wrong.

Honestly, it didn't matter.

Panic was his first feeling, threatening to pull him into its grasp as he considered all the possibilities. But Zavien took a deep breath to gather his wits. They'd planned for this. They knew this was coming. This was to be expected. They had a plan. A plan he needed to implement. 

By the time he released the breath, he was already moving. Although reluctant to step out of her reach, Zavien rose from the bed, his voice rambling on as he rushed into action, Sol appearing in the room to see what the commotion was. "Okay okay. It's okay. I'm going to grab the stuff. Do you think you can walk?" Shirtless in his underwear, he snagged the bag by the door, tossing in her toothbrush and the blanket on the end of the bed, setting her shoes next to the bed before grabbing her jacket. Then he stood in front of her, eyes a little frantic and hands out at the ready, prepared to guide or support wherever he could, doing his best to be a steadying presence despite the rush in his veins or the echoing race of her heart against his chest.

Zavien

Sohalia

Your little hand's wrapped around my finger And it's so quiet in the world tonight

Zav's rumbling snore cut off, but Soh was barely aware of it, this contraction having gone from uncomfortable to painful with a quickness. Still, knowing that she would worry him in her current state, she did her best to gather her thoughts and offered a tight smile that came off more as a wince. "I'm fine," she managed to grind out through short, gasping breaths, but the lie, such as it was, was laughable. Nobody, she thought, should have to endure this just to bring a tiny human into this world - and yet, here they were.

The contraction passed. Whoever had told her to breathe through the pain had vastly overestimated the Luminary's ability to do so, and as it subsided, she gulped air like a drowning woman breaking the surface of the sea. Zavien was already up, shirtless and in nothing but his underwear, and Soh's crooked, teasing smile was more genuine as she carefully pushed herself into a seated position. "Are you going just like that?" she asked. When she managed to swing her legs over the edge of the bed without bringing on another contraction, she sighed with relief. Maybe she'd have a few minutes to catch her breath.

"I'm okay, really. I just wasn't expecting it to be so intense so quickly." First-time mothers tended to have longer labors, or so the birthing classes had explained, so she had been prepared for a lengthy, slowly intensifying experience. This felt faster than anticipated, and she wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing. "I can walk between contractions," she said slowly, reaching for Zavien's hand to allow him to help her from the bed. "They're - I don't know, a few minutes apart? I thought it was just another false alarm, but -"

She paused, bracing for the next wave of pain that she felt approaching. Her grip on Zavien's hands tightened, a quiet, muffled gasp working its way from her throat as everything in her body seemed to clench and tighten at once. Riding it out, she resisted the urge to sink back into the bed, stubbornly remaining on her feet through sheer willpower.

By this point, Anani had joined them in the bedroom, chiming her own sleepy greeting. The cloud wyrm floated through the air to settle behind Soh on the bed, seemingly reluctant to burden her with additional weight when she was already going through so much. The woman was distantly aware that everyone in the house was currently focused on her, and the urge to wave them all away, to insist that she was fine, that women had been doing this for eons surfaced. She didn't want a big fuss, even though she knew it was unavoidable.

When the pain faded half a minute later - the longest thirty seconds of her life - Soh breathed out through her mouth, a half-sigh that seemed to allow her to muster the courage to take the jacket from Zavien and tug it haphazardly around her shoulders. "I don't -" she started, but abruptly cut herself off as a pop echoed through muscles and sinew and a rush of wetness spread down her legs. It was the strangest thing she'd ever felt, and the look on her face probably reflected the oddity of it, caught somewhere between amusement and despair. "I think my water just broke."

Fear flickered again. "I don't want to have this baby on the street." Her eyes flickered to a nearby clock. "Zav, I don't know if we have time to get to the hospital."

Your little eyelids flutter 'cause you're dreamin' So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light

Your soul
is the light that sees my dark,
and loves me all the same.

His hands braced against her sides, helping her sit upright in bed while she caught her breath. Despite her words, concern still deepened the line between his brows, eyes continuing to scan until finally landing on her attempt at a smile. He looked down at his own attire, skin and boxers on full display. He hadn't even registered the cold, and he certainly didn't care how he looked right now, but the idea was slightly funny - if they weren't about to have a baby. 

Zavien's lips quirked at the corner, kneeling to help put her shoes on her feet. "If I have to." He stood to take her hands, suddenly gripped by her intense strength working on cutting off the circulation to his fingers. Letting her expend the pain however she needed, Zavien freed one hand to rub it over her shoulders, pulling her close. The movement was solid and soothing, as if it could work the pain from her muscles, as if it could ground her in the moment rather than the feeling. He couldn't tell if he was talking or not. There might have been words of "Breathe" and "It's okay" and "I'm here," but he was so acutely focused on her that he just wanted to do or say whatever would ease the suffering. 

When her fingers released their vice grip on his hand, he straightened, pausing for a moment before helping guide the jacket over her shoulders in a hurried motion. They had to move fast if they were going to - 

He froze, fear clutching him as he watched the blood drain from her face. His hands moved instinctually to her shoulders, ready to brace her should Soh lose her balance; but Zavien felt like he was the one who might fall over when she admitted to her water breaking. He didn't know much, but he knew that meant they didn't have much time, and he felt the timeline shrink. 

Nodding his head, Zavien looked around. "Okay okay. That's okay." Whether that was reassurance for her or him, it seemed to help anyways, his mind racing to catch up. "We have two choices." He looked to Soh, leaving the choice up to her as he said, "We can stay here and hope the doctor can get to us, or" Zavien shrugged his shoulders, "I carry you there." The determination in his eyes made it clear that he'd do it too, without hesitation. He'd trained all his life. Carrying his pregnant girlfriend a few blocks would be a piece of cake.

Zavien

Sohalia

Your little hand's wrapped around my finger And it's so quiet in the world tonight

Zavien's calm exterior was perhaps slightly belied by the racing of his heartbeat against her chest, but Soh appreciated the attempt all the same. She recognized that this was him in soldier mode: analyzing the situation and responding almost automatically, doing what needed to be done despite any fear or anxiety he might be experiencing. It would have been fascinating to watch, had she not been in active labor.

As it was, she clung to him as the contraction crested and passed, panting as she prepared herself mentally for the short walk to the nearby hospital. A part of her longed to curl up in bed, to pull the blankets up over her head until this had all passed and the pain was over - but she knew that she couldn't do that. Not if she wanted their baby to be born healthy. And gods, did the baby deserve for her to show up in this moment in the best way she could. Recognizing that, Soh took a deep breath and steeled herself for the walk -

And then her water broke.

Panic froze her in place as her heart rate spiked. She wasn't ready. This wasn't in their plan. She was supposed to be safely tucked into a hospital cot, surrounded by healthcare personnel just in case something went wrong, not stranded at her own bedside in the middle of the night -

But Zavien didn't panic, and his calm kept Soh teetering on the brink rather than falling over the edge into a full blown panic attack. Taking a few breaths, Soh rapidly considered the options. Would she probably be okay at home? Sure.

But what if she wasn't?

"Okay," she said. "Okay, I think - let's go." Apology filled her eyes as she met Zavien's gaze. "I know you can carry me, but I hate for you to have to. Maybe I can -" But she cut off as a new contraction, stronger now, took hold, a low whine pressing at the back of her throat in place of words. Her world narrowed to the pain, the only thing keeping her standing the thought that this was the way to meeting their daughter, and that if this was what she had to go through to bring Reva into this world, she would do it gladly.

Your little eyelids flutter 'cause you're dreamin' So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light

Your soul
is the light that sees my dark,
and loves me all the same.

Zavien didn't let the apology hold any space, flicking it aside with the barest flick of his head. He was already across the room to grab a pair of pants, managing to shove only one leg in before she was contracting again. They would have been at the clinic for a completely different reason if he hadn't cause himself from tripping on the half-donned attire when he lunged back to her side. They were forgotten at his feet while he rubbed her back, using all of his concentration to hide the wince that came with her wrenching cry. 

In case she still had any ideas about walking, Zavien spoke through the clench of his teeth. "Nope. You just focus on breathing." In a flash of movement, he cast the bag's strap - and failed pants - over his shoulder, sweeping her into his arms as carefully as he could manage. 

"I've got you."

Without giving her a chance to protest, Zavien pushed through the doors of their house, his voice finding Sol in the dark. "Go. Tell them we're on our way." Whether Anani went with the dragon or settled on her bonded's chest to cool the sweat beginning to form, it didn't change the breakneck pace he set. Adrenaline was stronger than whatever limits he thought he had, and Zavien sprinted barefoot down the street in his underwear, whispering words of comfort to his laboring girlfriend, hoping she couldn't hear the way his heart stumbled with each whimper of pain.

Zavien

Sohalia

Your little hand's wrapped around my finger And it's so quiet in the world tonight

There was a moment - a brief moment, admittedly, but a moment all the same - when Soh wondered if she was simply too weak to endure this, if she was going to fail her daughter before the baby ever even arrived. Women had been giving birth for eons, and surely, surely they had been more capable than she to withstand the excruciating pain. She'd felt pain before, after all; she'd nearly died on more than one occasion. But this was something else altogether: a rolling, seizing pain that she barely had time to brace for before the next onslaught was upon her. Maybe that was what made it so much harder - that she knew what was coming and was powerless to stop it. All she could do was breathe through it.

At least she had Zavien, who lunged back to her side the moment she whimpered and offered what little comfort he could. And as soon as that contraction had passed, she was swept carefully into Zavien's arms and they were out the door, companions fleeing ahead of them, distressed and hurried. For Soh's part, she slipped her arms around her boyfriend's neck, doing her best to breathe as they hurtled through the dark streets towards the hospital and trying not to whimper at the jarring motion of each step.

In between contractions, she simply breathed, nestling against Zavien's chest, appreciating how safe she felt tucked in his arms. If he had her, then nothing bad could happen. This was simply something she had to get through in order to meet their daughter. And if Zavien could stay calm throughout all this, then surely she could push through for him and for Reva.

By the time they reached the hospital, Soh had begun counting her contractions. As they burst through the doors, Soh had to imagine that they made an entertaining sight: Zavien in his underwear, carrying his very pregnant girlfriend, surely looking far more panicked than the situation called for. And, indeed, the hospital staff seemed unbothered (although they moved quickly and efficiently, having been forewarned of their arrival by Sol and Anani).

Despite the seeming urgency of the situation, they still had to check Soh in, and she answered a few quick questions as they were ushered down the hallway and into a private room. Yes, she'd been laboring for over an hour. Her contractions were three minutes apart and lasting about a minute. Yes, her water had broken about twenty minutes before. With hospital staff directing them, Soh was deposited onto a bed, given a brief examination, and it was announced that she was close; the baby wasn't yet crowning, but her body was otherwise ready. All they could do, for now, was wait.

Most of the staff dispersed, leaving a single nurse in her room to keep an eye on her, reassuring the couple that all seemed to be progressing as it should. Each contraction was painful and seemingly neverending, but between them, as Soh caught her breath, she did her best to alleviate any anxiety for Zavien. Keeping an insistent hold on his hand, as much for him as for herself, she smiled at him. Now that they were where they were supposed to be, most of her panic had subsided, and she was much more at ease with the whole process. If something went wrong, they were prepared. And, fortunately, nothing seemed to be going wrong.

"We'll get to meet her soon," she said once, slightly breathless still as she recovered. "Are you excited?"

Your little eyelids flutter 'cause you're dreamin' So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light

Your soul
is the light that sees my dark,
and loves me all the same.

The hospital was only a couple blocks away, but Zavien was huffing by the time they arrived, glancing nervously between Soh and the staff, waiting for them to realize the gravity of the situation. Instead, they remained calm, barely even blinking at the contractions or the boxers on display. It was just another Tuesday to them, jotting down a few notes and giving easy, reassuring smiles as they worked through the intake process. It wasn't exactly helping his anxiety, but it also didn't make things worse. 

He doesn't release her until they're finally in a room, and even then, it's only long enough to shove his legs into the pair of pants he'd brought before he was back at her side, slipping his hand into hers. He didn't know how the medical professionals were convinced of Soh's status, but there was nothing he could do to speed things along or ease her suffering beyond being present at her side. 

Once the most recent contraction dissipated, Zavien clasped her hand between his, releasing the breath he'd been holding into an airy chuckle. "Excited is the understatement of the century." The race of his heart was more than nerves. 

Grabbing a cold, wet cloth, he ran it gently across her forehead, wiping away the sweat and golden strands. His gaze softened, a smile melting onto his lips, warmer and sweeter than honey. "Have I told you how much I love you recently?" He knew he had, but Zavien was happy to tell her a thousand more times if it distracted her from the pain.

Zavien