From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
In the quiet of the night, a solitary raven flew down to land before the shrine. The starry night sky was especially spectacular this evening, with colorful borealis dancing as if to some unknown tune. In another time, the young raven might have smiled at the sight, or tried to hum a tune and figure out the rhythm and the beat. He had brought a lute to this same shrine twice before, in an attempt to beseech someone to listen, only to then offer it up altogether, even though music had always been what he did best.
Not so, this time. Tonight, this lost soul had only itself to offer, and only barely. A ghost of who he once was, the raven some called Korbin placed a seashell on the frost-fern patterned stone and stepped back. Wrapped in his shift, he contemplated an attempt at returning to human guise... but in the end could not bring himself to do it. Surely a goddess would be able to see that this bird was more truly him, these days?
He had not looked at the seashell, since Safrin gave it to him. The formerly white surface had been splotched with dye in the time since, and no matter how he tried, he could not bring himself to find them pretty. Dirty shades of red, blue and orange brought bruises to mind. Fresh, aged, fading - all manner of injuries his words and actions had inflicted upon others.
"Lady," a thought whispered hoarsely, from the raven to the stars. "Your kindness might be wasted on someone like me. I have done as you asked... but it hurt more people than it helped."
He had been such a raging fire, only capable of burning all he touched. And now... there was only ashes left. Through no doing of his own.
Korbin has been given a quest! He must learn from the failings of others when it comes to the issues he's experiencing, specifically 1. how to deal with anger, 2. how to properly communicate feelings, and 3. How to deal with being disliked.
Complete 5 threads, learning about each once, and then two others of your choosing. The seashell will gain colour with each successful conversation. Return to Safrin after.
'I never said the things you were meant to do would help others. Or that it wouldn't cause them pain.' Despite the chill, even during the warmest months, Safrin appears cloaked in a loose-fitting dress that cascades around her like falling snow. Holding out a finger for the raven that he might perch upon it, the goddess tilts her head slightly to the side.
"Tell me what you've learned about yourself. About what makes you burn and how to quench and quell the flames."
Raven wings spread wide as the youth flew up to perch in the hand of the goddess. It was not the kind of invite you declined, and Korbin found it soothing to gaze upon her. "True," he acknowledged, and adjusted the wings. He had asked for help for himself; not others.
"I am selfish, and I don't like change," he began. Laconic and to the point; the raven was not over fond of what he saw when gazing into himself. "When things happen that are beyond my control to change, I grow frustrated. Fear... it all begins and ends with fear. I feared losing the things that mattered so much that I held them too tight. In the end, it didn't even matter; they broke anyway."
The grief was a festering wound in his soul. Family taken one by one, until only he remained. Traditions and habits corrupted and forever altered, until he lost not only his place but himself, too. Who was to blame for this? The dragon who killed his sister? The ursur that claimed his brother? The illness that saw his father waste away, or the mother who walked out and never returned?
Himself? But blame was a barren thing, and the ashes held no comfort. The only thing that had ever quieted his restlessness was "Music. And the Tundra... being alone in the wilderness makes my problems seem petty, and small. Under the vast sky, breathing comes easier."
Young and alone on a long road, Once I lost my way
"Things will always break and end my dark one. Such is the nature of your existence."She offers softly, lifting a finger to stroke the dark plumage on his chest. "You will live your entire life, and the majority of people in this world will not even know your name. The mistakes you've made? Only a handful will ever be able to recall their circumstances. So the remorse you feel? The fury at change? Why? When you are but a speck in the vastness of creation?" All of this is said with a soft and reassuring adoration. "And your triumphs? Friendships and loves? They too are fleeting. They should be cherished while you have them, but everything will come to an end, and that which is most precious to you will ultimately be forgotten as well."
Existential spirals weren't for everyone, but in certain contexts they did help put things in perspective.
'You are a feather in a hurricane my dark love. Why live a life where you care so strongly about things that care nothing for you?"
Her words plucked at the strings of his heart and soul like a master harpist until he quivered in her grasp, an instrument of songs unheard save for these heaven's ears.
"I kept asking myself that," he croaked, shaken and hoarse. "Especially after Weaver died. For the longest time I saw no meaning in any of it... and even now I doubt that there is one." Dark wings shifted in what could almost be construed as a shrug, hopeless and weary. "But then I look at the horizon, and ride the wind, and the beauty of the world grabs me by the heart all over again. It steals my breath away." Raven eyes gazed transfixed upon the starbright queen of the night. "How can I not care? It's the only thing I still love."
It cut deep to say it. An admission both simple and profound, that made the boy want to weep with relief and regret. He still loved. He could still love. And gods, it hurt so sweetly to know that there was something left to lose.
Young and alone on a long road, Once I lost my way
"You can care, and love, so long as you do not grasp so tightly that you kill what is around you." Safrin replies with a soft shrug. "If you pluck a flower and call it your own, you do so knowing that your time is limited. It will die, no matter how much you lavish it with love and attention. It is the same with those you care for. They add sweetness and colour, but that does not mean they won't one day wilt and die."
Reaching out again to stroke the raven's dark plumage, Safrin smiles warmly. "But all is not lost. There are gardens in Mort's realm for flowers and lost-loves alike. It is only time that separates you from them. Time to experience the wonders of the wind and all the things that this world has to offer. And then one day, your pain will end, and all will be returned to you."
Glistening eyes closed and again her words washed over him, through him and bathed his aching soul in tender balm. The goddess accomplished what no friend or passing acquaintance had managed so far; she offered him hope. Not of some lofty goal, or impossible dreams, but hope that there truly was an end and that it might not be so bad to persevere until it came.
While it might seem a bleak and low branch to reach for... it was everything the raven could have hoped for.
"You are kind, my Lady. I thank you." Korbin whispered, while bittersweet longing for those lost loved ones mingled with relief. Loving any less he could not, but loosening his grip on that which was precious was doable. "I will do my best to amend my old ways. Perhaps those I hurt in the past will even forgive me, in time, for being so slow to learn." Blinking his eyes open the raven almost smiled, if a bird was capable of such things.
Maybe if he played them some music... ah, but that required hands. Still the urge was there, like an itch in digits he had not possessed for many seasons.
Young and alone on a long road, Once I lost my way
"They might, or they might not." Safrin replies with a generous shrug. "Such is not for you to decide or to worry over. Control what you can, and let go of that which is beyond you."
From a pocket of air that is suddenly bright with starlight, the goddess pulls out a single shiny bit of gold. It is surely the sort of thing a raven might spy and pick up for its nest, but it is so much more than that as well. 'If the world ever becomes too much and your emotions threaten to take hold, clasp this gemstone as tightly as you can. Pour everything you are feeling into it...and then release it." To demonstrate, Safrin closes her eyes as her fingers twine around the gem. For a moment nothing happens, and then, a single star forms and shoots up into the sky. It will be hard to track with mortal or corvid eyes, but even so, there will be a new star in Safrin's skies.
Emotional Light | When strong emotions are poured into the stone, it takes them from the person holding them and changes them into light that rises into the sky as a star.
The raven's eyes certainly lit up at the sight of the shiny bauble, but he knew better than to reach for it on his own. Patient, in as much as he ever had been, he waited for Safrin to demonstrate. Beady blue eyes watched her clasp the gem, and when the star emerged from the orb and darted up into the sky, there was a shocked yet impressed huff, and much ruffling of feathers.
Almost tentatively the bird reached for the gem, once it was offered. Emotions swelled and surged within, happiness, gratitude, despair and much darker emotions too; just to try it, to see what it would be like, Korbin tried to do as she said and directed all of those jumbled thoughts into the gold. Pushing the gem into a feathered breast, over the heart. And it was as though they eased out of him, softly extracted - until a golden peace settled around his mind like a soft fleece blanket. A star of his own formed and shot up into the sky; Korbin watched it rise with awe.
"Lady, I... I have no words," he murmured, in a raven's croaking accent. "If ever I can repay your generosity, only say the words. I will go where you wish, do whatever. I swear it."
Young and alone on a long road, Once I lost my way
With a hum of contentment, Safrin watches the star rise. The darkness above envelopes it as it joins the multitude of others. "The sky is always a reminder that what was once dark and brutal, may be beautiful just the same." How many stars above were created from grief? From murderous rages bled into a stone only to be shot into the air? How many tears of lovers and loved ones now glistened above?
"I accept your fealty. And I accept you, Korbin. Everything that you are, and will be. All the things you have no control over, and those that you do. I see you, just as I see all of my stars. And I love you for how you shine."
So saying, the goddess strokes the raven once more, before lowering him back to the stones that surround them. With a last, lingering smile, Safrin disappears in a puff of lilac mist that will linger as long as Korbin does.
